Adios compañeros de trabajo: the first goodbye to my coworkers

Today my office hosted a taco bar lunch in my honor catered in from Qdoba (and bagels were brought in this morning too!)! It was so nice. The way to this girl's heart is food-an added bonus that it was Mexican food too-which most people seem to know by now, so it was probably obvious that it would make my day. It totally did, and although it was delicious, the thought of them putting it together for me was the best part.

When the Adios subject line for the meeting request came into my inbox last week, I should have immediately suspected the Mexican theme, but wasn't so sure if I should take it more like, "Sayonara! See ya when we see ya! Beat it, chica!" Yesterday the black beans were spilled and I knew to get my palate ready for a cilantro sprinkled feast today. Oh, and what a feast it was and they topped it off with a chocolate cake to boot!

I think with any job that you work at for a significant period of time, there are bound to be roller coaster moments; there are highs and lows. It's been the case in every job for me at least, and this one was no different. With this organization, when there were highs, they were great and closing this chapter has been tougher than I thought it would be.

I got married, moved into a new house and had two babies (well, almost two...two pregnancies at least) while working with this company, major life changes. Through all of them, the flexibility, understanding and support I received from my employers to my managers to my co-workers was fantastic. I have come to know many exceptional people; I've worked with everyone in my department in particular since the day I started, five and a half years ago. We've had a lot of fun together. There's a lot to miss, but knowing that I'm making the best decision possible for my family helps to keep the tears at bay. We'll see what happens on Friday, my last day. I was able to stifle them during my little speech at lunch today, but it helped that I chose to read the card they had all signed until I was on my own. When I opened it and read the first passage, I knew my emotions would get the better of me and it would be a good idea to wait.

Thanks for the send off, amigos! Who knows what my future holds exactly, but two things are for certain: tacos will be a part of it and I will walk away from my time at AMI with many fond memories of the highs.

Tick tock

In just one week from today, we will become a family of four! The countdown is on. I am consumed by thoughts of...this is the last Monday before the baby comes, the last one just the three of us; tomorrow will be...this is the last Tuesday before the baby comes, and so on and so on. Coupled with that, it was my last Monday at work...and tomorrow will be my last Tuesday at work, and so on and so on. It's all very surreal.

Yesterday (Sunday, March 28th) marked 38 weeks of pregnancy for me. My last doctor appointment on Thursday, March 25th was short and sweet. The baby's heart beat sounded good and there was no further dilation news after hearing I was dilated to a one the appointment a week prior. It's not that there wasn't any news, but we just didn't find out any since my doctor opted not to do an exam. He gave me the option and I told him whatever he thought was fine by me and he said, "Let's wait until next week then."

Waiting was fine by me since I trusted that if he thought I had progressed enough to make any difference, he would have done the exam. Well, waiting was fine except for one little thing. I had forgotten to leave my house wearing socks that day and leather shoes with no socks doesn't always equal feet that smell like roses. I should say that not wearing socks has become virtually a habit since it's way more comfortable than the tops of them digging into my ankles leaving marks looking like someone is trying to choke them. But on doctor appointment days, I try to remember to at least sport some ankle socks so as to spare myself from the embarrassment of my doctor gagging on the stench of sweaty feet. I did remember to bring socks with though, knee high dress stockings this time, but they'd do the trick. However, it had slipped my mind all six plus hours before my appointment to actually put them on. So there I find myself in my office bathroom washing my feet (clumsily I might add, trying not to topple over) with paper towels and hand soap before heading out the door to the clinic! Yep, I did it, yes, I'm actually admitting it and yeah, gross.

All that work and no exam so it didn't really matter anyway, but hey, at least my feet smelled nice (as nice as soft pink commercial hand soap can smell---or is it the foamy white soap at my office?) underneath the socks that I adorned them with for no more than an hour. I gained one pound since the last week's appointment, slightly less than what I weighed at this time in my pregnancy with Mirabella according to my doctor. Cool! My next, and final, appointment is on Thursday (Thursday, April 1st).

This is the last Monday with aforementioned stinky shoes, and tomorrow will be the last Tuesday with aforementioned stinky shoes, and Wednesday will be the last...

Photos: 37 weeks

Brace yourselves...




Compliments of Tricia


Here's one I forgot to post at 36 weeks, also compliments of Tricia

Full term

At 37 weeks as of Sunday (Sunday, March 21st), I am officially considered full term, or my baby is, I should say. So, if I went into labor today, chances are that he or she would be just as healthy as if I gave birth on my original due date. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about how close our baby’s birth day is!

It’s funny because at my last appointment with the doctor, exactly a week ago, I was proudly declaring how fantastic I felt. I was wearing regular shoes (with heels even), in my size, versus the last time when I was wearing slippers around my office and fuzzy boots around town by now. There was no swelling anywhere. Yes, my stomach was gigantic, but I was still able to walk fairly normally. The very next day, it was like my stomach got even bigger and the waddle appeared more often than not while I was walking. And for the last two days, my legs, ankles and feet have become tingly and have started showing the initial stages of swelling (although to most people, it's not real apparent, so maybe I'll get lucky and the swelling won't progress). The movie title Big Momma’s House comes to mind every time I look in a mirror or look down. My belly is in more pain too, not only from the protruding body parts poking me on the inside, but I am feeling it from the outside as well. Sometimes it feels like a really bad sunburn and sometimes it’s like my belly is splitting open, ripping apart underneath my clothes. Ouch! I keep thinking the feeling surely means some stretch marks are going to appear, but I’m glad that nothing resembling one has appeared just yet.

Jeff called me into Mirabella’s room the other night when he was changing her diaper to look at something strange, and comical. There were smashed up crackers submerged in her butt crack! It was so funny, until I saw the front of her and all the red marks and scratches. Poor girl had been eating crackers and they must have gone down her shirt and into her diaper…how uncomfortable! Then it came to me. That’s kind of how this feels on my stomach, like there are sharp, jagged edges of broken crackers (dipped in flames at their worst) stabbing into my belly sometimes. It hurts! Most times when I feel it, which is often, I find myself checking to see if finally a sign of a stretch mark has appeared. Still nothing, so that makes me happy and I think maybe the pain even subsides some! OK, doubtful, but I can stand it a little easier.

Sleeping is proving to be more difficult too and getting comfortable at night is nearly impossible. Trying to flip my enormous belly from one side to the other after my entire side has fallen asleep actually takes my breath away at times. I need a hoist. Why hasn’t someone invented a pregnancy hoist, a crane or something? Luckily I have a husband to pull me up from the sofa or push me off the sofa when I need it, which is regularly now, but what’s a girl to do when he’s out cold in a peaceful slumber (jerk!)? Right now when I lay down, I settle in on my left side with a pillow in between my legs (because why is it that the weight of one leg on the other now feels like Chris Farley found his final resting place?), a pillow or two to prop up my feet (since the swelling seems to be coming on) and a pillow to try and rest my belly on (which only makes me feel like I’m smothering my baby without giving me any comfort anyway so it usually ends up just being something I hold onto). The worst is when I finally get “comfortable”, it’s time for another bathroom break.

Plus, I’m convinced that I have no less than 50 dreams a night. Some are just totally crazy and off the wall, others are all too realistic, but both leave me waking up feeling like I haven’t slept. I always remember them when they wake me, but in the morning, most of the details that made them make some sense so I can explain them to Jeff have been completely erased from my memory, which I’m sure he is thankful for. We all know how fun it is to listen to someone else’s explanation of their dreams.

I’m getting sleepy again at this stage and I’m still annoyed with all the bloody noses I’ve been getting. There have been no migraines though for a long time, since whenever I last wrote about it, which has been awesome. I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions for quite a while, but they have been getting progressively more prominent the last couple weeks, sometimes stopping me in my tracks.

As anyone who has ever been pregnant can tell though, these things I’ve mentioned above are all extremely tolerable, especially considering what many have to go through. The last few weeks can definitely be the toughest, as is the case for me, but I’ve been so fortunate to have great experiences with my two pregnancies. I really enjoy being pregnant and I’ll very much miss many parts of it (even my mammoth belly…and even more so when my mammoth belly turns to mush!). Someone please remind me I said all this when my ankles become unrecognizable or when some stranger is forced to pull me out of a booth at Taco Bell.

Maternity leave that really pays

Deep breath. I quit my job. Oh my goodness---I QUIT MY JOB!

After five and a half years with the same company, Jeff and I felt it was in our best interest for me to leave my current position and take on a new and more rewarding one (and scarier and more challenging one no doubt too!)...that of a stay at home mommy of two! I gave my notice on Wednesday (Wednesday, March 17th...just another reason why a green champagne would have been extra nice that night). If all goes as planned with the baby set to arrive on Monday, April 5th, my last day at AMI will be Friday, April 2nd.

I am so incredibly excited about what is to come, but to be honest, nervous too. There are a ton of thoughts going through my mind, our minds, but mostly, I feel amazingly fortunate to have this opportunity.

The chance to be with our kids (still feels strange to say kids, plural, already!) on a full time basis is something I hadn't totally envisioned, but it is quickly going to be my reality. I can't believe it most days. I'll know what they ate and when they ate it. I'll know what they've learned, when they've learned it and how they've learned it. Then again, I'll know how much they've pooped, when they've pooped, what color they've pooped every single time they've pooped it too! So yeah, I do know it's not all going to be peaches and cream.

Financially, the timing is not ideal considering our unpredictable economy. It won't be easy, but it makes sense for us right now and hopefully as a family we'll benefit greatly from this decision. I have struggled deeply with the many thoughts about never reaching my full career potential, but feel better when going into this knowing that this may not be, nor does it ever have to be permanent. After taking some hard looks at the numbers, what it takes for us to get by in a year, who knows---I could be back to work before 2010 ends once this all truly sinks in. But for now, even with the uncertainties, we are looking at my being able to have this time with our children as a completely positive and rewarding experience. I am going to savor all that it is worth, even if a decision, an opportunity, timing or a circumstance changes the plan sooner rather than later.

It seemed a lot of people expected that with two kids so close in age, this decision may just be a natural one. Plus, with layoffs and furloughs affecting my company currently, and taking into account a non-paid maternity leave, the picture appeared to be getting clearer. So many of you had asked about our plans, specifically if I was going to return to work post baby #2, and if we didn't dodge the curiosities and questions entirely, we had to bend the truth until we felt we could come clean. Our apologies to everyone for not being forthcoming about this path, but the secret's finally out and damn does it ever feel good!

Any advice from those of you who are already doing what is one of the toughest jobs in the world will be immensely appreciated! I am incredibly lucky to be in this position and all of my gratitude goes to Jeff for making it a possibility. Thank you, babe, and let me apologize in advance for not feeling like cooking every single night just because I'm at home and begging you to pick up Chipotle on your way home. Or Gina Maria's. On those days, please consider that your children behaved perfectly because I was there with them. Oh, and that the laundry was done...or at least everything but the whites, but there is always the weekend and after all, don't you love the smell of bleach?

Now please, send that wonderful husband of mine some business before we have time to change our minds!

Gimme that shamrock shake. Gimme that shake.

It was no green beer, but it sure hit the spot. And don’t think Jeff didn’t try his best to find our green food coloring, but with no such luck. Not to worry because after we put Mirabella to bed last night I went out and got us the next best thing. Probably the only thing better than enjoying a shamrock shake on St Patty’s day (next to green beer, green champagne or a green martini, of course) is enjoying one while pregnant when ice cream should be mandatorily given through an IV.

Doctor appointment: 36 weeks

So I keep having this suspicion I may not make it to April 5th, the scheduled date of my c-section. My doctor said there was nothing indicating otherwise, but I know much of how I’m feeling is coming from the fact that I’m worried my doctor won’t be there to do my surgery. Since he is off for his kids’ spring break the week prior, other than to work in the office one day that week, I have been thinking that may be my time. The pessimist in me is coming through. Usually I’d be feeling very happy about shaving some time off of my pregnancy at this point, but as you all have heard several times, I just really want my doctor to be there.

I was determined to find out his exact schedule, as if I could really control if I’d go into labor early and when. When I asked if he’d be on call the weekend before the 5th and he said no, I practically begged him to get on the rotation. “That’s Easter!” he says. Sheesh. Like he needs to spend Easter with his family. I told him that too. Both he and Jeff found my madness humorous, and even though I was laughing too, I don’t think I was joking. Dr. Chow left the room while I got ready for my exam and came back with his on call schedule. Three days. Only three freaking days he is on call until the 5th! Like the guy needs that kind of a break. If I go into labor today, I’m all set. The two other dates are March 22nd and 23rd, both of which I said would work for me too. He tried to reassure me about the high qualifications of the other doctors, but I wasn’t having it and told him to take it as a compliment. “None of the other doctors is you!”

Then came time for my exam and he tells me I’m dilated to a one. Hold up, what? My mind races thinking my suspicions about going into labor early have now been fueled. I know people stay dilated at a one for some time, but it was strange to hear since with Mirabella, even at my 38 week appointment, I think five days before I had her, I was not dilated at all. So a one this time felt like…wow! And to still have almost three weeks left…WOW! So really, the 22nd would work great for me. I’m kicking myself for not asking him to pencil me in! One more thing…my doctor thinks this baby will be born bigger than Mirabella; he estimated the size at 6 1/4 right now (Mirabella weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces).

Anyway, after the exam, my doc changed his tune a little and said he’d say he’d give me a 70 % chance I’d make it to the 5th. 30 % I would not. We’ll see! I gained three pounds since my last appointment. Very fortunately, my ankles and feet haven’t started to swell like they did at this time with my first pregnancy. I had hopes I’d dodged a bullet, but was reminded that there was still time for that. Awesome. The good news is that my blood pressure looks great, so there aren’t concerns right now if the swelling and fluid retention does happen. I suppose I can handle a brief stint.

I have only two appointments left, next week and the following: Thursday, March 25th and Thursday, April 1st.

Photos: 35 weeks

Our baby at 35 weeks

At 35 weeks, the baby is about 18 inches long and weighs around 5 1/4 pounds, about as much as a honeydew melon.

Doctor appointment: 34 weeks

All went well at my appointment today, which was fairly routine. I met with Jaimie, a nurse practitioner, and will meet with my doctor in two weeks, and every week thereafter. We discussed warning signs for labor, birth control post baby (which she brought up with a pretty big grin!), she checked my measurements (still measuring right where I'm supposed to be) and we listened to the baby's heart beat. How this happened, I don't know, but I only gained one pound since my last appointment. Very interesting with my almost compulsive ingestion of cookies and ice cream growing worse this past month or so. How great if I didn't have the swelling problem in my ankles and feet like I did at the end of my pregnancy with Mirabella (causing an eight pound weight gain, if I remember correctly, between two of my appointments), but there is still plenty of time for that I suppose! Ugh.

It is very surreal that we just wrapped up celebrating Mirabella's first birthday and pretty soon we'll be welcoming our new baby! It seems so close now. In some ways I feel so ready and in others, it feels like it can't possibly be that time yet. Regardless, we are so extremely excited to welcome our newest family member!