"You don't always have to drink to have a good time" ~Barb Price

I have become pretty darn good at being sneaky. I’ve learned how to “drink” champagne and peach nectar with my mouth sealed shut (but oh, the smell of that Bellini as it reached my upper lip---I really hated the temptation, but I did not succumb, not even for a taste). I’ve successfully worked in cahoots with wait staffs to replace Sapphire tonics with soda water or plain tonic and lime, leaded beer with unleaded beer, all while unsuspecting friends sat near. The whole beer thing could have been a red flag since rarely do I drink beer when cocktails or wine are around, but it has worked pretty flawlessly!

I managed to get through the 4th of July, fooling everyone around me that I was indulging all day and night on margaritas (limeade on the rocks with a salted rim and lime), Sapphire tonics (just water on the rocks with lime that day), Grey Goose raspberry lemonades (hold the Goose) and good old Budweiser Select out of the bottle (replaced by crafty hubby who drank the real beer ahead of time, filled the bottle with St Pauli Girl N/A beer and reattached the top perfectly). I remember stumbling by the fire pit that night and the words “Hey, Jen, have another!” being shouted humorously. All the while I thought to myself how I cannot wait to reminisce about this day when the secret is out.

Ha, I was stone cold sober and just like my mom had always said, I really didn't have to drink to have a good time. Although I did have to not be pregnant to go tubing and be totally up for a late night dance party shaking some "signature" moves over the Cha Cha Slide beats busting in the background. Luckily Jeff took out some signature moves of his own that night. We did manage to stay pretty late, but oh was this prego lady sleepy after a long day of sun, boating, fireworks and a lot of fake drinking.

It has been becoming more difficult lately to play the game and I find myself declining invitations I normally would not refuse. I feel like such a dud, and as anyone who knows me knows, that is just not like me! I hate to toot my own horn (toot, toot), but I love to have fun (especially over a few cocktails) and I am superb at it! So when I’ve been in this hibernation mode because it’s easier than trying to prepare for the next fake out, it blows. There is no fooling anyone if I just said, “You’re opening up a bottle of wine and Jeff and I should come over? Thanks, but wine just doesn’t sound good.” “I’m pretty tired so I’m going to make it an early night.” “A dirty martini? That sounds terrible!” No one would buy it, any of it. So my only option right now is trying to pretend and sometimes it’s more work than it’s worth.






I long for the day you will all understand, appreciate and encourage my alcohol-free policy and napping necessity. Please know that I really do miss being the life of the party (toot, toot)!

Haha, that one was for you, babe!