Monday, April 5th

Pending he or she decides not to come early, today at my doctor appointment our baby’s birth date was determined: Monday, April 5th! Happy birthday to you, babycakes. We cannot get over how strange it is knowing the date of arrival in advance. Mirabella was born four days before her original due date of March 5th and if all goes as planned, this baby will be born six days before his or her original due date of April 11th.

I can’t say I’m not nervous about having another c-section; the good and the bad news is that I know what to expect. I’m becoming consumed by thoughts of what the experience is going to be like. Will the surgery go the same as last time? Will I be shaking uncontrollably on the table again? Will I lose a lot of blood? When they told me to expect more pressure than I’d ever felt before when pulling the baby out last time, and then when it wasn’t nearly what I was anticipating, will it be like that again? Will it be painful? Scratch that. How painful will it be, during surgery and/or afterwards (fortunately the surgery itself wasn't painful last time, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed)? Will I be as immobile as I was after the surgery last time and how long will it take me to recover this time?

So many thoughts. So many questions! Like I said, it’s good and bad to have already been through it before. Then again, a long list of questions is what consumes all moms to be, whether first timers or those with some experience.

There are plenty of positives thoughts though too. I am looking forward to skipping out on the contractions and the 30 some hours of labor, the hunger pains (mentally and physically!) when all I could eat was ice chips for almost as long (while the smell of McDonald’s lingered into my room), the terrible thirst when no one would let me drink anything, the two hours of pushing (and the swollen, almost unrecognizable you know what!), the not sleeping for 45 hours, etc. I’m sure there'll be plenty more that I won't miss.

My doctor did warn me of the thought of going into labor early, but assured me that it would be fine if it happened. He didn't anticipate it happening too early, if it did at all. He had told Jeff and me at a previous appointment that his son's spring break was the week prior to April 5th (which he suspected then could be birth day), but I felt so much better this time when he told us they weren't planning on going out of town for it. I just really, really want my doctor to be the one doing my surgery. He's the one we trust, the one who knows us and the one who puts us at ease (and still my mind drifts off on this tangent and I have to say...he's the one who won't let me die there on that table---how's that for a morbid thought? Sorry, but I think about that.). And after all, isn't my well being more important than some fancy spring break vacation with the kids anyway? :)

I gained two pounds since my last doctor appointment, the one before the three hour GTT, roughly two weeks ago. I can handle that. Geez, maybe getting the flu in between did me some good! I'm measuring right where I'm supposed to be, at 31 weeks. Take that Mr. Man Co-worker who told me I looked like I was ready to give birth tomorrow! Nice. Just a thought for anyone reading, but you probably don't want to say something like that to a pregnant woman, especially when she still has almost two months to go. He also told me I looked fabulous, better than he'd ever seen a pregnant chick look. Did he say stunning? Elegant maybe? Breathtaking. Striking? Yeah, I think it was strikingly gorgeous to be exact. Wait, that was I made up in my head. All of it-after the looking like I was going to give birth tomorrow part-completely made up. My next appointment will be in three weeks.

I cannot wait to meet this baby of ours! Are you a boy? Will we have to get all new clothes, and eventually, a whole new genre of toys? Are you a girl? Will you look like Mirabella? Will Mirabella's clothes get a second wind? Are you healthy? How much will you weigh? Will you have hair, be a good eater, have jaudice and what color will your eyes be? No matter what the answers are to any of my questions above, one thing is for certain...we will love you so much, little baby! We already do.