It's a girl! Or a boy!

 

I've had four dreams about the birth of our baby and in all but one of them, I wasn't even present for the delivery! I take that back, I suppose I would have had to be there, but I must have been out cold for the experience. I had no recollection of the births and just had to meet the baby for the first time when Jeff brought him or her in to see me hours, sometimes a day, later. Did we have a boy or a girl? What was the baby's name? I felt slighted about missing out and that everyone was in on our baby's birth story but me. All I had were the battle scars to prove that at some point in time, I was there!

 

I think my real-life fear of having my baby whisked away from me soon after our meeting snuck up on me some in those three dreams. I always love hearing the stories about Jeff bringing the baby out to meet our families while my body gets put back together in the OR, but part of me always wishes I could be there for that too. This time that part of things has been hitting me harder, one, because I know being reunited with our new baby and my family will take longer this time because of the added procedures I'll be having and two, because I will miss out on our three kids meeting for the very first time. I can't help but to cry as I write it. Knowing our girls will have that experience without me leaves me feeling misty. I'm already missing that part of history not being in my memory. One of the best things about Viviana's birth was witnessing Mirabella meeting her for the first time.

 



So, if anyone wants to come and video those first moments for me, let me know! I'm looking for one videographer and one photographer. Sound guy/music director optional. Who's in? I am only saying that partly in jest.

 

Update: I decided to change the plans and now the girls will be coming to the hospital later in the day so I can see them meeting the baby for the first time! I feel much, much better. I couldn't bear the thought of missing out on that first encounter and now I won't have to.

 

I think the three dreams that I wasn't there for the baby's birth was better than the one I was, however. I had the baby alone and finally when my family showed up - Jeff included - the baby and I seemed to be the last two things on people's minds! Jeff bypassed us to make the rounds, saying hello to everyone but us. His parents and my dad hadn't even arrived yet, so he was greeting aunts and people who may very well have been perfect strangers before he got to us. My mom arrived and started in on a laundry list of how bad of a day she had been having, never alluding to the fact I had just had her fifth grandchild. It was terrible! Wacky, demented dreams.

 

In two of my dreams we welcomed a girl and in two we welcomed a boy, and just like we will be in real life, both Jeff and I were as happy with having another girl as we were with having a boy. It sounds staged to say all we care about is that our baby is healthy, but it is positively the truth. The names in all of the dreams were the names we have had picked out for months too, so at least there was no added drama there. We have not been sharing the names we have picked with anyone - not even with Mirabella, Viviana or our parents - so please do us a favor and go ahead and act like you like the one we decided upon even if it doesn't do it for you! 

 

I have been asked frequently if I have any inclings as to what the gender of our baby is, and mostly, I do not. I go back and forth and change my mind often. But there are some things that make a case for one above the other.

 

 

My three pregnancies have all been considerably similar, mostly because as a whole, they have all been delightful, positive experiences. I didn't have morning sickness with any of them and I have had no major setbacks or ailments to contend with, other than the typical things that routinely go along with pregnancy. Sure, I have contended with the constant anxiety of wondering if everything is going well, swelling, being uncomfortable at various stages with back pain, butt pain, belly pain and boob pain, congestion, constipation, bloody noses, feeling like a kangaroo holding a couple dozen babies in a pooch, but all of these things have been tolerable and in my opinion, go along with the territory of being a mama carrying her offspring. I have been exceptionally fortunate.

 

Because of the pregnancies resembling each other so much, I could be led to think we are having another girl. Although it may just be that this is how my body handles pregnancy in general. My constant comsumption of sweets has me thinking girl too. I know that many moms of boys have a sweet tooth as well, but maybe I hear of it running more rampant when carrying girls. And to say my sweet tooth is out of hand, that, my friends, is an understatement (as if that has been kept secret, in this blog or otherwise).

 

Usually the appearance of carrying a basket/bowling (or in my case, beach) ball is more associated with having a boy, but I tend to think this is how I carried my girls, and again now. But yes, if this doesn't resemble a (fully inflated and extra large) ball of some sort, I don't know what would.

 

Carrying baby #3 at 38 weeks 

(I even shrunk it to the smallest size to try and minimize the shock value. Not sure it worked.)

 



It is also thought that no morning sickness signals boy, but this has also not rung true in my case. So who the heck knows?!

 

 

The main reason I could be led to think we are having a boy is because it seems the majority of people tell me so (or want me to be!)! If I had a dollar for every person who told me I am carrying low or the way I am carrying definitely indicates a boy, I would have a whole lot more ice cream in my freezer. As I mentioned already, I tend to think the way I am carrying is much like I did with the girls, but I can see my bump (can I even still call it that in its colossal state?) becoming lower these last weeks. I kind of feel like that would be natural for a third pregnancy anyway (especially with a tummy this big) just based on looser skin and gravity! But, maybe there is something to it. Or maybe people are basing their decisions more on the ball thing, and by the photo above, they have a point. 

 

There have been a lot of hopes and prayers for us to have a boy also. When people see me toting two young daughters around, many are quick to say, "I'll be praying that this one's a boy for you!" after I tell them we don't know what we're having. Some have added that their prayers for a boy are geared toward Jeff, because surely it is the father who is hoping, wishing and praying for a boy. Mind you, these statements are usually made by people who have never met us!

 

One thing we are sure about: we are not crossing our fingers for a boy; having another girl would make our family feel just as perfectly complete. And no, we did not set into this pregnancy "trying for a boy". Heck, we didn't set into this pregnancy trying for anything! Boy or girl, we will welcome this baby with the widest of open arms and will be thrilled either way. Whole heartedly thrilled. Another girl would be spectacular because we already know the splendor that goes along with being parents of girls (and I promise you, the dad of those girls would echo these sentiments). But having a boy (hopefully a mama's boy, at that!) would shake things up and bring a whole new type of enchantment that we would love to experience.

 

It's a...

 

 

The mystery is magical!